British Raise Eyebrow at Volatile Antics of Excitable Foreigners

The great British public were moved today to raise a collective eyebrow at continuing scenes of anti-police rioting in Greece - now in their third day - following the shooting of teenager Alexandros Andreas Grigoropoulos on Saturday.

Despite the arrest of two police officers - who had claimed that they only fired warning shots - over the shooting, the hot-headed protests show no sign of abating.

All over Britain, viewers were tutting in disapproval at their televisions at the embarrassing public displays of emotion by rioting Greek anarchists.

“We really don’t go in for that kind of thing over here, you know,” said Acting Chief Commissioner Sir Paul Stephenson of the Metropolitan Police. “Look at what happened when our boys shot that Brazilian chap: absolutely bugger all. And he wasn’t chucking rocks, either - he was just minding his own business. Any other country in the world, you’d have had riots in the streets, and the officers concerned would be hung out to dry by the courts. Thank God for the legendary phlegmatic national character of the typical Brit.”

Sir Paul was interrupted, however, by the news that a group of protesters in London was attempting to storm the Greek embassy.

“Right lads, time to unwrap the Tasers,” he announced. “Let’s see how they protest when they’re shitting themselves with 10,000 volts up the arse. Everyone got their headcams? This’ll look bloody hilarious on YouTube.”