Tuesday, 9 September 2008

Suspension of Racism-Claim Officer Not Even Slightly Racist - Perish The Thought, Says Nose-Tapping, Straight-Faced Met Commissioner

Britain’s most senior Asian police officer, who recently brought a discrimination case against the Metropolitan Police, has been relieved of duty and put on immediate leave after losing the case.

Commissioner Ian Blair insisted that Assistant Commissioner Tarique Ghaffur’s suspension was nothing to do with his claim that he had been held back by racial prejudice.

“Stone me! Turns out this geezer was only in charge of bleedin’ security for the 2012 Olympics, can you believe that?” said the Commissioner. “Blimey! Talk about a security risk! E’s prob’ly got a bunch of ‘is mates sittin’ in ‘is garden shed at this very moment, churnin’ out bomb belts like a Brick Lane sweat shop, know wot I mean? Wot – racist? Me? Nah, you got the wrong bloke, mate, I ain’t got a racist bone in me body. I was just sayin’, like. Stands to reason mind, dunnit?”

Mr Ghaffur was not available for comment. However, several top lawyers in his vicinity were seen rubbing their hands together with glee.

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