Wednesday, 2 July 2008

Amstrad Launches Cheap Imitation Retirement

Sir Alan Sugar has announced that he is stepping down as chairman of Amstrad, although he says he will retain involvement in his other business interests.

“Anything Bill Gates can do, I can do,” said the surly, hatchet-faced star of TV’s The Apprentice. “And cheaper, too. For example, I won’t be wasting money on unnecessary frills like a charitable foundation to solve the problems facing the world.”

Industry experts agree that Sir Alan’s retirement may look superficially similar to his rival’s, but fear it will probably turn out to be shoddy and featureless.

In the light of the current spate of retirements by wealthy leaders who built up personality cults identifying themselves with their respective organisations in the public mind, while neglecting to provide people with reliable products that actually met their needs - and who seem happy to undermine their successors by continuing to work behind the scenes - we asked Tony Blair for a comment. He said he was too busy to reply, however, as he was enjoying his retirement pastimes of sorting out the Middle East, advising the world’s money men, developing faith-based solutions to the world’s problems and laughing all the way to the bank.

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