Industry leaders are blaming the government for the decline of UK games studios, with calls for state funding to come to their rescue.
The trade bodies point to Canada’s buoyant industry, which grew from nothing ten years ago to become the third largest in the world, thanks to government aid. A 15% fall in the number of science graduates has also led to a skills shortage, which needs to be addressed urgently.
“Although 60% of the British public regularly play computer and console games, half of them think little people live inside their screen.” said Alex Cobol, a lead character animator specialising in walking arsenals with large breasts, “So while there’s no shortage of nerds out there drooling over animated, gun-toting amazons, there’s a shortage of programmers with the necessary skills to make those pneumatic bodies move realistically when they waste a busload of schoolkids with a grenade launcher. It’s a really rewarding job, because I get paid to see Lara Croft naked. Then again, I did spend my entire teenage years in a darkened bedroom learning fourth-generation computer languages instead of thinking about girls, and that’s a sacrifice few seem willing to make.”
In an industry always looking for fresh ideas - or at least new ways of tarting up stale ideas with better graphics - the shortage of new blood is likely to have devastating long-term effects.
“What we need,” said Mr Cobol, “Is for the government to give us a huge sum of money to develop an exciting new generation of games which combine dystopian ultraviolence with an interactive plastic guitar. And really large breasts. Otherwise our industry could become a dead man walking. Hey, that’s a good idea for a game! Zombies with fantastic charlies.”
No comments:
Post a Comment