A Good Year for Brown, and I Believe in Pixies, Says Health Minister

Gordon Brown has had a “good year” as Prime Minister, according to Health Secretary Alan Johnson.

“In terms of what he is achieving, in very difficult circumstances, I think it has been a good year,” said Mr Johnson. “I have had extensive consultations with Prince Caspian, Harry Potter, Frodo Baggins, Santa Claus and the Sugar Plum Fairy, and we all agree. I would also like to add that the NHS is in safe hands, Britian is well equipped to ride out the global recession and petrol has never been cheaper. Is it time for my injection yet, nurse?”

Mr Johnson’s views were not, however, echoed by other senior Labour figures.

“I say! This Brown’s a silly arse, isn’t he?” Lord Charles Levy, the aristocratic dummy told his ventriloquist, Tony Blair.

Sir Gerry Robinson, who gave £70,000 to the party from 2001 to 2005, joined the debate by announcing that he would no longer be giving money to the party. “I’ve got my K now, so what’s the point?” he said.