The Conservative front-bencher David Dickinson has been branded ‘irresponsible’ by the government, following his decision to stand down as MP for Haltenprice and Howden and force a by-election in protest against the 42-day detention of terror suspects.
The silver-haired heart-throb of Middle England declared that - along with ‘database’ government, ID cards and the partial scrapping of trial by jury - the narrowly-passed measure represented “the destruction of British freedoms.”
“I was rummaging through an old cupboard in my office,” said Mr Dickinson, “And I came across this lovely old set of principles, all covered in dust and manufactured way back in 1900 by the Labour Party. Casting my eye over them, although I’m no expert in this particular area it dawned on me that they might have some curiosity value. Look at them - aren’t they magnificent? You just don’t see many of these nowadays, let alone a complete set like this one. I’m taking them to an auction in Yorkshire. I wonder what I’ll get for them?”
The Liberal Democrats have said that they will not be bidding for the principles, as they already have a set of their own.
“We’ve kept ours for sentimental reasons,” said Nick Clegg, “But they have no intrinsic value nowadays. They’re just a worthless curiosity really, and they’re very expensive to maintain. But they’ve been in the party for generations, and it would break our little hearts to let them go.”
An antiquarian to whom we spoke said that it would be a tragedy for the nation’s heritage if the Labour Party should decide to bid as they would only add them to their private collection, which has not been on display to the public for many years.
No comments:
Post a Comment