The UK has proudly announced the torpedoing of EU plans to give equal employment rights to temporary staff, following a 12-hour meeting of employment ministers in Luxembourg.
Business Secretary John Hutton called the outcome “a very good deal for Britain. By ‘Britain’, of course, I mean ‘employers’.”
Under the deal, temps in Britain will gain holiday and sickness rights after 12 weeks on a contract assignment - a climbdown from the European proposal that rights should start from day one. Temps across the country claimed that they would now be even worse off, as employers would simply curtail temporary contracts at 12 weeks, lowering job security even further.
“Well spotted,” said a human resources consultant. “We’ll miss you when you’re gone. Write some notes for your replacement, would you?”
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