Thursday 24 April 2008

Silly Fuel

The United Nations has been forced to suspend its food distribution programme in the Gaza Strip, claiming that Israeli sanctions have led to a chronic fuel shortage.

“In the rest of the world, food is in short supply because crops are being grown for fuel,” said a UN representative. “Here in Gaza, however, we have an abundance of food – enough to feed 650,000 refugees, in fact – but no fuel. We’re thinking of putting our food stockpile through a smoothie-maker and running the trucks on it before it rots - but then, unfortunately, we’d have no relief supplies to distribute.”

A spokesman for the Israeli government said a million litres of fuel was waiting for collection at the Nahal Oz oil terminal, but Gaza distributors - supported by Hamas - have refused to collect it in protest at the sanctions, which were imposed following two Hamas attacks on the border terminal.

“Basically, the situation is this,” said a hungry Palestinian refugee. “There is plenty of fuel waiting to be used and plenty of food waiting to be eaten - yet I’m still starving. Welcome to the Middle East. Perhaps when your marvellous Mr Blair has finished his free tour of Britain’s railways, he’ll get back to sorting this place out.”

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