Tuesday 22 April 2008

France, China On Brink of War

China has reacted angrily to the decision by Paris city councillors to award the freedom of the French capital to the Dalai Lama.

"The fact that this moment the Paris city council decides to make the Dalai Lama an honorary citizen can only be seen as a serious challenge to 1.3 billion Chinese," said foreign ministry spokeswoman Jiang Yu. "China requires that France immediately take effective steps to remove the severely negative impact of its erroneous action."

The Chinese armed forces are reportedly on standby flights ready to invade Paris-Orly Airport, while France has put its Terrible submarine on a low loader and sent it in search of the fabled Silk Road.

Chinese protesters have been demonstrating against France since the Olympic flame met with angry protests as it passed through the streets of Paris, holding anti-French rallies and targeting supermarket Carrefour’s Chinese outlets.

Carrefour has released a statement denying that it supported Tibetan independence claims. “Freedom? Justice? We’re a supermarket,” it said. “Special this week: three highly-combustible French flags for the price of two!!”

The Dalai Lama, meanwhile, remains serenely unperturbed by the degenerating state of Sino-French affairs as he is in India, some way away from the forthcoming conflagration.

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