Wednesday 30 April 2008

Ling Ling, The Panda's Dead

Ling Ling, the only giant panda owned by Japan, has died at Tokyo’s Ueno Zoo at the ripe old age of 22.

“He died peacefully. I think he lived a full life,” said keeper Motoyasu Ida. “In human terms, he climbed several of the world’s tallest mountains, swam with sharks and dolphins in a tropical paradise lagoon, discovered a cure for cancer, became an astronaut, starred in some of the world’s biggest box-office hits, scored the winning goals in two world cup finals and married a string of beautiful models. In panda terms, admittedly, he sat on his fat dopey arse and chewed bamboo every day for 22 years, but then that was his idea of a full life. Panda steak, anyone?”

Rumours that Ling Ling’s death may not have been solely due to advancing years and failing health were fuelled by unconfirmed sightings of a harpoon gun mounted on a flatbed truck speeding away from the zoo in the dead of night.

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