Ling Ling, the only giant panda owned by Japan, has died at Tokyo’s Ueno Zoo at the ripe old age of 22.
“He died peacefully. I think he lived a full life,” said keeper Motoyasu Ida. “In human terms, he climbed several of the world’s tallest mountains, swam with sharks and dolphins in a tropical paradise lagoon, discovered a cure for cancer, became an astronaut, starred in some of the world’s biggest box-office hits, scored the winning goals in two world cup finals and married a string of beautiful models. In panda terms, admittedly, he sat on his fat dopey arse and chewed bamboo every day for 22 years, but then that was his idea of a full life. Panda steak, anyone?”
Rumours that Ling Ling’s death may not have been solely due to advancing years and failing health were fuelled by unconfirmed sightings of a harpoon gun mounted on a flatbed truck speeding away from the zoo in the dead of night.
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