Wednesday 30 April 2008

All Eyes on London (as usual)

All over Britain, people will be holding their breath for the result of the London mayoral election which is taking place today, as a test of Gordon Brown’s leadership.

Pundits are saying that if Ken Livingstone is re-elected, the Labour Party will be reassured that their current 21-year low in the opinion polls is only a temporary blip from which they can recover before the next general election. However, if Boris Johnson should become mayor, the Prime Minister will almost certainly be beheaded by enraged party activists and his severed head paraded on a spike.

Unconfirmed reports say that some straw-sucking provincials in the remote wastelands beyond the M25 are also voting, after their primitive fashion, for some 4000+ unimportant local council seats. However, after consulting ancient navigators’ charts and seeing vast unexplored wildernesses marked ‘Here be yokels’, media journalists dismissed the rumours of the existence of a world outside the capital as the ravings of feeble minds unhinged by rum and cider, and focused all their attention on Ken and Boris.

No comments: