Newspaper Industry To Shut Down After ‘Appalling’ Exploitation Of Maddy Pics For Commercial Gain

Don't give these bastards a penny

Newspapers will officially cease to exist in Britain from this day forward,” sobbed a guilt-ridden Richard Desmond today, after editors, proprietors and hacks united in condemning the ‘outrageous’ use of a photograph of Madeleine McCann merely to sell things to the public.

The repentant Mr Desmond - owner of the Daily Express and the Daily Star - spoke on behalf of the entire print media industry, after five shameless years of slapping a photograph of the missing child on the front page for a quick sales boost, before shaving his head and disappearing forever into a Trappist monastery.

Horrified advertisers have been quick to disassociate themselves from disgusting scum who cynically feed off individual misery. “We’re outraged,” said a spokesman for Astescburysons. “We had absolutely no inkling that the newspaper industry could have sunk so low. Don’t miss next week’s amazing 3-for-2 deals on Madeleine-flavoured crisps, by the way.”