Thursday, 10 May 2012

Ferrari Painter Hired By Government To Create Illusion Of Prosperity

A dab of Dulux, and it's like the boom years never went away
Chris Smart - the doomed call-centre drone who painted the dream car that a lifetime of drudgery will never afford onto his garage door - was today offered a job by chancellor George Osborne, who hopes to use Mr Smart’s deceptively realistic trompe l‘oeil artistry to persuade Britain that the recession is just a dim memory and it is experiencing an unprecedented economic boom which will go on forever, or at least until the paint flakes off.

Mr Smart has already been put to work in Merton’s dilapidated High Street, where a row of boarded-up shops has been transformed into an earthly paradise by the illusion of a bustling wine bar, a Bentley showroom and an exclusive City restaurant.

“Business is booming again, at least for me,” enthused the former art student, as he searched Google for more inspiring images of vanished prosperity. “When I’ve finished with Britain’s shopping centres, the Ministry of Defence has already asked me to paint over the cracks in our naval strategy. That’ll keep me going for a good few years.”

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