Assad A Cad And A Rotter, Opines Cameron

Not ruled out

Prime minister David Cameron bravely threw down a forcefully-worded ultimatum to Syria’s Bashar al-Assad today, calling him “a cad and a rotter whose standards of behaviour are quite, quite beyond the pale.”

A statesmanlike Mr Cameron also urged the Syrian president, whose army continues to murder innocent civilians with enthusiasm as it mops up the last vestiges of opposition, to be a good sport and take an early bath, and warned that he was “this close” to wagging Britain’s mighty finger in an admonishing manner.

Meanwhile, across the Atlantic, President Obama also ramped up international pressure on the Syrian regime, throwing the formidable strength of the world’s sole superpower behind his declaration that Assad was “a no-good, dirty rat”.

When the matter of Sunday’s rigged Russian presidential election attracts his attention in several months’ time, sources close to Mr Cameron say he may well call Mr Putin “a sneaky blighter” and point out that “cheats never prosper.”