Tuesday 6 March 2012

Government Buys Good News From Nissan

Japanese car giant Nissan today officially unveiled £9.3m of feelgood publicity for the government, marking a sharp turnaround in the coalition’s fortunes.

Inviting ridicule
“Thanks to a £9.3m investment from Vince Cable, we are pleased to announce that 400 Geordies will be allowed into our plant to watch our robots building our exciting new egg on wheels,” said Trevor Mann, Nissan’s senior vice-president for manufacturing in Europe, at the Geneva Motor Show. “This will also create another 1600 jobs among our suppliers, so China’s happy too.”

“This is great news for the government and well worth every penny I paid for it,” declared Mr Cable brightly.

Not to be outdone, however, managers at Rio Tinto Alcan gave the government some publicity by announcing, at no cost to the taxpayer, that 500 jobs will be lost 30 miles down the road in Lynemouth when it closes its aluminium smelter.

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