World Wants Higgs-Boson Particle For Christmas

Everyone in the world is on tenterhooks today, waiting to hear whether the elusive Higgs-Boson particle has finally been found and, if so, whether they can order one in time for Christmas.

My particle is way cooler than yours

“I don’t actually know much about this Higgs thing or what it’s supposed to do,” admitted technology addict Josh Geake. “But I heard it’s very small and scientists have spent a huge amount of money trying to discover it, so it must be incredibly desirable. Therefore I need to get my hands on one as soon as it becomes available, so I can boast to all my envious friends about how it’s completely changed my life.”

“It it Flash-compatible?” he demanded hopefully.