Emin Made Perfesser Of Drorin

World-renowned manky installation-art slapper Tracey Emin will be on the sauce tonight, London was warned, celebrating her appointment by the Royal Academy as Perfesser of Drorin Stuff N Shit.

The professor is in, but only just

Although Emin initially rose to international fame for her post-modern deconstruction of the outmoded concept of ‘houseproud’, her avant-garde reputation was soon cemented by several inspired piss-artworks she presented on late-night arts discussion programmes. She has also recently dashed off some daubs for the London Olympics, 10 Downing Street’s back loo and the Royal College of Art’s bargain postcard sale.

“Perfesser Tracey’s faux-naïf wielding of a pencil, once she’s worked out which end works best, will inspire a new generation of art students to see just how much they might get away with in the name of self-promotion beyond the call of ability,” explained Eileen Cooper, the new head of the Royal Academy schools. “For example, I myself seem to have got clean away with using this publicity stunt to tell the world how jolly important my appointment is.”

Meanwhile, a delighted Ms Emin blew out a statement, explaining that she was “reely ecsited 2 b teechin agin arfter so many yeers. Larst time i tort sumby sumfin wuz wen i shode my art teetcher how 2 paent wiv my bum. It wuz tipacly brilyent if I sa so meselve. Hic.”