Sunday, 6 November 2011

Northern Motorists Pledge Further Attempts To Outdo Soft Southern Shites

And he's into the chicane!
Disappointed at their failure to notch a single fatality in their M6-based effort, northerners today vowed to keep hurtling blindly into fog until they reassert their natural superiority over the soft southerners who piled into each other on the M5 near Taunton on Friday evening, killing seven and injuring 51 in a collision involving 34 vehicles.

“A’ve reet got me fog lights on aye, so a’ can drive at any speed a’ fookin’ please,” professional northerner Mark Whippet shouted into his mobile phone as he enthusiastically flung his white Transit van through a contraflow system on the M1 north of Leeds at 70mph.

Meanwhile, rather than upsetting victims’ relatives by suggesting that even mild-mannered old ladies are instantly transformed into reckless banzai-screaming lunatics the moment they start an engine, Avon and Somerset police are now investigating a theory that impenetrable walls of dense black smoke from rockets may have drifted onto the M5 from a nearby fireworks display - possibly involving V2 missiles left over from the war.

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