Backlog Of Lessons To Be Learned Now Expected To Require 1000 Years Of Study

This is just the lesson to be learned from eating too many pickled onions

As the Health & Safety Executive predictably added the lessons to be learned from the Welsh coal mine tragedy to Britain’s enormous backlog of unlearned lessons, education experts warn that it will take generations of scholars 1000 years to absorb, understand and act upon the vast pile of terrible mistakes.

“As the government has, predictably, handed the initial inquiry into the flooding which caused the deaths of four miners to the South Wales Police, rather than to anybody who might reasonably be expected to have any sort of clue about mine safety, I think it’s safe to say we probably won’t be gaining any life-saving knowledge from this unfortunate incident within our lifetimes,” observed Professor Myfanwy Strangelove, curator of Britain’s ever-growing lesson mountain.

“Let’s face it, successive governments still haven’t really got to grips with picking out any tips on best practice from Harold Godwinson’s futile attempt to fight battles on two fronts, and that was way back in 1066. With a bit of luck, we should get around to safer mines just in time for the next millennium.”

“Right after we come up with a viable alternative to unrestrained global corporatism, in fact,” she added cheerfully.