Wills And Kate Coin Designed To Confuse Terrorists

Can't quite place them, but I'd swear the other one's my mum

The Royal Mint has sprung to the defence of the newly-unveiled Alderney £5 commemorative coin, which bears the legend ‘Celebrating The Engagement of William and Catherine’ around the poorly Photoshop-embossed faces of God only knows.

“Any fundamentalist numismatic Muslim terrorists collecting this splendid coin with a view to blowing the royal couple to smithereens will be left none the wiser regarding their identities,” explained Dave Peasant, director of commemorative coins at the Royal Mint, who firmly maintained that the anonymous image on the reverse of the coin was based on a genuine snap somebody took on their Nokia at a polo match, or possibly in a nightclub under adverse lighting conditions.

“Our artist’s 14-year-old son strove to achieve an informal look, emphasising that the royals are ordinary folks just like you and me, only unimaginably rich,” he said, adding, “Look, we’ve done the same with Her Maj on the obverse face. That could be your dotty nan, who smells of wee, couldn’t it?”

Public opinion on the Wills-and-Kate effort has been mixed, however, with 45% thinking the image depicts former Doctor Who David Tennant and Catherine Tate, 27% identifying them as Jade Goody and Robbie Williams and other 28% saying they could swear it was that bird down the pub last night and her bloke, who had a bit of a barney and left separately.

The Queen, meanwhile, is reported to have given her approval to the design. However, since she has given her approval to every unpleasant scheme dreamed up by successive governments for the last 58 years, Buckingham Palace officials have advised the public not to read too much into that.