Council Refuses To Improve Ghost Monitoring In Car Parks

Bloody ghosts at it again

The London Borough of Sutton has come under fire from paranormal expert Yvette Fielding for failing to monitor ghost activity in its car parks, after failing to satisfy a female motorist who rang to ask if ghosts were responsible for moving her car down a mild gradient from one parking space to the one opposite.

“Frankly, in this day and age, which I firmly believe is a Friday in the year 490AD, it is just unacceptable for a local authority not to compile a comprehensive record of supernatural activity in the sites it maintains for the public,” argued the presenter of TV’s popular Most Haunted. “I have personally investigated case after case of cars inexplicably moving themselves on slopes, as reported by the type of people who watch my show.”

“I urge all my viewers to engage the anti-poltergeist lever which vehicle manufacturers have placed near the gearstick,” she added. “Thank the stars that the management of Toyota and Nissan are more open-minded than the misguided rationalists who infest our town halls. If you want to avoid a manifestation, don’t ever disengage that device for an instant.”