Chastened NATO chiefs are investigating an airstrike in which as many as 40 Afghan civilians were reportedly killed when two petrol tankers captured by the Taleban unexpectedly exploded after being shot at.
"We thought petrol tankers only exploded like that in the movies," said a baffled spokesman for the International Security Assistance Force. "Then Colonel Ripper said he's seen Last Action Hero, and when Arnold Schwarzenegger was in the real world, bullets fired into a car just left little holes and the car drove away. So our pilots just fired a few bursts of 30mm into the tankers, thinking all the petrol would just pour out into the sand."
"Imagine their horror when there was a fucking great explosion," he continued. "They were shocked and awed to see so many towelheads running about screaming, with their towels on fire. In fact it was all they could talk about on their way back to base. They were talking about it in the mess, they were talking about it in the PX and they're still talking about it on their Facebook profiles."
The local Isaf commander is reported to have observed only insurgents in the area before calling down the airstrike, he added.
"The standard-issue M380 combat kaleidoscope which he used is infallible," he said. "It looks like a normal set of binoculars to the untrained eye - but when you turn the lenses, you see dozens of brightly-coloured little terrorists with Kalashnikovs tumbling over themselves in pretty patterns."
"Still, at least the destruction of these tankers should finally put a stop to all those whining liberals back home who keep telling the American public that the conflict in the Middle East is all about oil," he added.
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