The UN is to discuss what measures should be taken, after hearing that the Coffee Republic had been taken over by accountants KPMG.
The mercenary accountants moved swiftly to seize control after the embattled Republic issued a desperate call for help with its crippling national debt. The streets were reported to be quiet, with shops empty save for a few confused Coffee Republicans who face an uncertain future.
"I'm not even sure what a caramel macchiato is, let alone whether I work directly for the Republic or one of its franchisees," admitted one fearful worker in darkest Richmond.
Coffee Republic's rulers have conceded control of their bankrupt state to the mercenaries, but remain holed up safely in their impregnable holding company.
Several western governments have expressed fears that the dreaded 'domino effect' could spread to other vulnerable coffee-retailing areas, including neighbouring Costa, Caffe Nero and the dominant, posturing Starbucks.
"The collapse of the Coffee Republic is a matter of great concern to the British Government," Gordon Brown warned the UN Security Council. "If middle-class shoppers are deprived of somewhere to sit down and overdose on sugar, fat and caffeine every fifteen minutes, there is a very real danger of civil war breaking out in the streets of Great Britain. That is why I urge the United Nations to approve an emergency aid package for the plucky little Coffee Republic, whose parlous financial affairs are in no way connected to the massive recession I caused, which by the way I didn't."
Seasoned observers, however, expect the United States to veto any such measures unless they include substantial injections of capital into Starbucks, its unscrupulous ally which dominates the troubled region.
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