Governor Arnold Schwarzenegger has ordered schools in California to phase out books in favour of online learning.
"Today our kids get der informations from der internet, downloaded onto der iPods, und in Tvitter feeds to der cellphones," he said. "Zo vy California's public school students are still forced to lug around antikvated, heavy, expensive textbooks? Do ve vant dem to look like terrifying muscle-bound freaks?"
Governor Arnie denied that the sunshine state's $15.13bn budget deficit - much of which has been run up under his governance - was in any way connected with his decision.
"Even in good economic times, state government should alvays strive to use taxpayer dollars to de greatest effect," he argued. "In de future, dat means de kids from de vealthy families vid computers, vot pay more tax dollars, vill get to download de books."
When asked how children from poor families would be able to access the internet for long enough to read their textbooks, the former Terminator star frowned and told reporters, "I'll be back to you on dat."
He later returned after consulting his advisors, saying "Fock you, low-income assholes."
Governor Schwarzenegger is thought to be in need of a vacation.
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