Ex-communities secretary Hazel Blears broke down in tears today and apologised unreservedly for everything she has ever done in her political career, apart from avoiding £80,000 in capital gains tax on the sale of two taxpayer-funded properties.
"The timing of my resignation on the cusp of the elections was an unfortunate error of judgment," said the Salford MP. "And in retrospect perhaps I shouldn't have appeared before the media wearing a badge reading 'rocking the boat'. But I honestly thought the press would have more important stories to cover than the rather trivial resignation of a cabinet minister on the eve of a key election. However, I'm gratified to see that you have learned your lesson, and are out in force to cover my abject, but well-timed, grovelling on the eve of a deselection meeting called by my constituency party."
"Speaking of which, I'd also like to apologise profusely for criticising Gordon Brown's efforts to connect with the younger generation via YouTube," she added, "And if he should choose to make another appearance on YouTube, telling my local party to stop blaming me for all these BNP victories up north, then I would be the first to applaud him as an innovative communicator."
When asked what had motivated the actions from which she was now distancing herself, Ms Blears told reporters that she may have been a bit emotional because she "had the painters in".
She refused to comment, however, on whether she had put their services on expenses.
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