NASA is a step closer to discovering whether life may once have existed on Mars, after the discovery by its Reconnaissance Orbiter of carbonate rocks on the red planet. All of the necessary ingredients for the rocks exist on Mars, so their apparent absence was an ongoing mystery.
Some scientists think that their rarity may be due to high acidity levels in Mars' now-vanished waters. However, a new theory from NASA's Jet Propulsion Laboratory suggests that Mars was once covered with seas of cherryade, providing a neat explanation for the redness of the planet, and the present absence of life.
"If Mars has carbonate rocks, then it must have had carbonated water to make them," explained NASA's excited chief rocket scientist, Randy von Braun. "As everybody knows, the main occurrence of red carbonated water on Earth is in cheap supermarket cherryade - and God only knows where it all comes from or how it's made. My theory, then - get this - is that all of the cherryade in the universe originally came from Mars. Yeah? Check it out."
Dr von Braun went on to surmise that cherryade would have occurred naturally on Mars millions of years ago, through the random molecular interaction of molecules and stuff. Vast oceans of cherryade swiftly covered the entire surface of the planet and, for a while, other civilisations flocked to the planetary soda fountain and spread the new wonder-beverage throughout the galaxies.
However, after a period of time - which may have been several million years, says Dr von Braun, or more likely a day or two - the oceans of fizzy pop went flat, as the now-located carbonate rocks absorbed the carbon dioxide. Interstellar interest in our solar system swiftly evaporated - as did the fizz-free cherryade, leaving behind only an unpleasant-tasting residue which has stained the entire planet red.
Researchers are studying the theory with interest, and are already talking about a mission to Jupiter, to see if its thick atmosphere conceals vast oceans of Coca-Cola.
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