Unions have added their voices to calls for the UK government to throw some more money it hasn't got into the gaping chasm of business finance.
"Since you're giving it away like there's no tomorrow, Gordon, how about a bung to what we in the trade laughingly refer to as the British car industry?" said Tony Woodley, joint leader of Unite. "Otherwise the few remaining workers who serve the mighty robots might lose their jobs. Sod everyone else - if the bastards hadn't stopped buying cars, we wouldn't be in this mess."
Senior figures in the motor industry squealed their agreement and pointed to their gaping beaks.
"Admittedly the continued existence of the UK motor industry is entirely at the mercy and whim of the American, Japanese, Chinese, French and German companies who actually own it," added Mr Woodley, "But I'm sure they wouldn't turn down a couple of billion of taxpayers' cash to cover their embarrassment at making long-term financial plans predicated solely on the somewhat fanciful notion that the economic boom would last forever. Go on, widoncha. It's not like it's your money, is it?"
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