A daft cow has made a complete balls-up of a simple DIY repair job on the International Space Station, said US space agency NASA today.
The outdoor job - a piece of piss involving the ball joint on a solar array system, according to NASA technicians - was cocked up beyond belief when the clumsy bint, Heidemarie Stefanyshyn-Piper, started singing and doing a silly zero-gravity dance, and knocked a tool-bag into the depths of space.
When the dozy bitch returned to the airlock, moaning that she had broken a fingernail extension, the other astronauts on the space station wasted no time in telling her to stick to cooking and hoovering - and made it abundantly clear that in future she should leave the technical stuff to the blokes, who had an aptitude for that kind of thing.
According to mission controllers, Ms Stefanyshyn-Piper then burst into tears, locked herself in the zero-G toilet and refused to come out.
“Time of the month,” shrugged fellow-astronaut Steve Bowen, as he cracked open a tube of beer and strapped himself to the sofa for an uninterrupted evening of sport on the telly.
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