Gordon Brown has denounced the Shadow Chancellor, George Osborne, for saying cruel and unkind things about the pound, and demanded that Tory leader David Cameron remove him immediately from the Conservative front bench and replace him with Captain Sensible.
“My Right Honourable friend, that defeatist little shit Osborne, has done untold damage to the British economy with his doom-laden posturing,” thundered the prime minister in the House of Commons yesterday. “What this country needs is somebody relentlessly upbeat, as typified by the former guitarist with punk legends The Damned, whose chirpy cover of the song ‘Happy Talk’ wakes me up every morning, and has made me the cheery soul you all know and love. And I’m sure his jaunty red beret would go down well with the core Tory voters, who‘d probably think he was some kind of war veteran or something.”
A spokesman for the 54-year-old Captain said: “Wot?”
No comments:
Post a Comment