The US government has added the Walt Disney Corporation to its list of terrorist organisations, as latter-day buccaneers inspired by its smash hit “Pirates of the Caribbean” movie franchise anchored their latest prize, the giant oil tanker Sirius Star, off the coast of war-torn Somalia.
“The time for talking is over,” said President George W Bush. “These films consitute nothing less than a terrorist training manual. As I speak, Disney employees are being rounded up and sent to Gunatanamo Bay, where they will no doubt appreciate the bright colours of the detainees’ uniforms. Anyone who has rented, bought or downloaded any of these evil films is advised to wait in their homes until federal agents arrive to arrest them. We’ve been patient up until now - after all, Condy and I crapped ourselves laughing when that shipment of Russian tanks got captured without a shot being fired - but now these evil pirates have their hooks on our lovely, lovely oil, and that makes me really pissed.”
Asked whether a more viable solution might be to utilise a small part of the world’s largest floating arsenal to mount some kind of meaningful patrols in the dangerous coastal waters off East Africa - perhaps using some of those huge aircraft carriers whose hangars were bulging with AWACS radar planes, assault helicopters and strike bombers - to make the world‘s oceans safe for international commerce, the President placed his fingers in his ears and sang loudly.
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