Saturday 15 November 2008

Fancy-Dress Charles Marks 60 Years of Not Being King

Prince Charles has been indulging in one of his family’s favourite pastimes as he celebrates 60 years of waiting for his mother to die, by dressing up in pretend clothes and fondly imagining himself as some sort of military leader.

His official birthday portrait, unveiled on Friday, depicts the prince in a ceremonial costume bedecked with enormous shiny medals given to him by his mummy, pretending to be in the Welsh Guards. The photograph, by leading sycophant Hugo Burnand, is the latest example in a longstanding tradition of exercises in royal wish-fulfilment. The picture is to be hung next to the famous photograph of Prince Harry proudly wearing the uniform and swastika of Hitler‘s Afrika Korps, taken in 2005.

The Prince enjoyed a full day of activities, beginning with breakfast in bed, served by the Duchess of Cornwall in the traditional costume of a Zulu warrior. He then donned an admiral’s uniform to play with his battleships in the bath, before dressing in a full NBC suit and gas-mask for a meeting with some real people at a Prince’s Trust project, probably involving turntables. Later he changed into a fetching leather flying helmet and fleece-lined jacket, and pretended to be a Major in the Royal Flying Corps at Covent Garden.

The martial make-believe continues on Saturday with a party thrown by Camilla, featuring gravel-voiced old fart Rod Stewart. Her husband is widely tipped by royal reporters to be dressing up in a centurion outfit for the occasion, although some believe he will mark the occasion by trying to pass himself off as Sergeant Wilson from the Walmington-on-Sea Home Guard.

Charles will have to be careful not to be upstaged by his sons, however, who will be wearing real uniforms as serving members of His Mummy’s Armed Forces. They are taking time out from their arduous military duties in the West End to attend.

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