Wall Street and London’s Square Mile were in uproar today, as it was announced that Guy Ritchie could potentially withdraw as much as £150m from the Bank of Madonna.
Ritchie - who directed Lock, Stock and Two Smoking Barrels once, then twice, then three times - has invested heavily in the US giant over an eight-year period. However, he is now widely expected to attempt a huge cash withdrawal, which some analysts fear could lead to a disastrous speculative run on Madonna.
A spokesman for the couple expressed the hope that an agreement on the size of the withdrawal could be made without recourse to the courts, as the market debated whether Gordon Brown might try to nationalise Madonna.
US financial experts, meanwhile, said it was unlikely that the US government would inject federal funds into the venerable financial colossus, which has been making money for over a century.
Madonna’s assets are said to include a Nautilus multigym, an old pointy bra and a small Malawian child who was promised a stable home as recently as May, but whose value has clearly plummeted in recent months.