Thursday, 7 August 2008

Bono Talks Shite

U2 guitarist The Edge owns several colours, according to the band’s singer, St Bono.

Claiming his fellow band-member was U2’s resident genius in an interview with Rolling Stone magazine, Bono explained: “The Edge finds some new colours for the spectrum of rock. Colours he now owns. Owning a colour, wow. Imagine owning the colour yellow, like Van Gogh. Edge owns, well I’m not exactly sure what colours they are… indigo or violet or crimson?”

The holy man of rock then slid serenely to the floor in a religious state of ecstasy.

Artists worried about possible legal action overwhelmed the Patent Office, where harassed officials were busy checking the records in an attempt to discover precisely which colours were created by the hat-wearing guitarist.

“So far, we have managed to rule out black,” said a spokesman. “So charcoal sketches are OK, then. And yellow is in the clear, as any patent filed by Vincent Van Gogh would have expired long ago. So far, it’s safe to say you can paint bees, wasps and hazard warnings without having to worry about receiving a threatening letter from U2’s solicitors.”

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