Women Want Gordon in A Sack, Dave in The Sack

Tory leader David Cameron is sexier than Gordon Brown, according to a women’s magazine poll.

In the survey of 2,000 women, almost two thirds thought the Old Etonian Conservative would be good in bed and said they would marry him, saying he should be Prime Minister because they liked his wife and found him attractive. The news for Gordon Brown, however, was less appealing; 62% said they would like to throw him off a cliff. A dissenting 34% said they would do the same with David Cameron, although it was not clear whether any of them had gone to bed with him.

The results also showed that women look for the same qualities in a prime minister as in a partner – strong morals and a sense of humour. Moral, humorous yet unaccountably single men across the nation bit their lips at the return of this old chestnut.

The magazine hailed women aged between 25 and 45 as the largest group of floating voters in the UK, and claimed they were becoming more politicised.

“Men should take a leaf from our book and stop worrying about which party can solve rising street crime, unaffordable housing, spiralling costs of living, the recession, job insecurity, the state of the health service and the continuing conflict in the Middle East,” said the editor, Marie-Claire Cosmo. “It’s now clear that the real burning issues of the day are: Does Your PM Drive You Wild Again And Again In The Sack? and Get Your MP Down The Aisle With Our Ten Top Fashion and Beauty Tips!”