MoD Releases Frisbee and Hubcap Sighting Reports

There have been more than 200 UFO sightings in the UK in the last year, according to freshly-declassified government documents.

Not only have some barmy, wide-eyed members of the British public seen UFOs, but some claim to have done so more than once or even on a regular basis.

“It’s probably got something to do with increased satellite technology,” said a ministry spokesman in a sharp black suit. “Although Freeview is mixed up in it, too. Although most people laugh at UFO and its wildly-inaccurate depiction of 1980, nevertheless - thanks to ITV4’s policy of sticking any old rubbish into its schedules - a new generation of square-eyed telly addicts is discovering Ed Bishop’s dodgy blond wig and Steven Berkoff’s acclaimed breakthrough role as Moonbase Interceptor Pilot #2. And at least it’s not as ropey as season two of Space:1999, with the woman with sideburns who can change into animals.”

Tales of the Unexpected are now widespread in homes across the UK - thanks to ITV2 relentlessly churning out two episodes of the 70s Roald Dahl series twice a day for months on end.

“Keep watching the Skies,” said the man in the dark glasses. “Also the ITVs, the UKTVs and BBC4 whenever they pretend some creaky old 60s twaddle like Adam Adamant is now a cultural landmark.”