Vince Cable In Tragically Deluded Appeal To Shareholders’ Sense Of Decency And Fair Play

After much puffing on his best ‘ideas pipe’, everybody’s favourite uncle, Vince Cable, has formed the opinion that the best restraint on the inflation-busting jamboree that is executive pay and bonuses would be to let corporate shareholders rule on the matter.

Mr Cable gets all of his best ideas in here

Dear old uncle Vince emerged from his potting shed to tell his numerous LibDem nephews and nieces that the faceless financial institutions which hold the vast majority of corporate shares are really very sober and responsible indeed, and would certainly never be silly enough to fall for short-term dividend largesse thrown their way by cynical, irresponsible boardroom directors during their brief stopovers in the never-ending game of musical chairs which characterises Britain’s system of corporate management.

“Good heavens, just imagine what would happen if, solely in order to boost their bonuses before jumping ship to another comfy chair elsewhere, the senior management of some unprofitable business decided to pay their shareholders one nice, fat dividend out of essential capital reserves – or worse, simply borrowed the money from a bank!” beamed uncle Vince. “Why, the firm would probably go bust within a matter of years! By then, any shareholders who hadn’t sold their shares in that company at a tidy profit - which would be based solely on the apparent financial health indicated by that handsome dividend – would really have egg all over their faces, wouldn’t they?”

“Just imagine if every business behaved like that!” he went on contentedly. “I should imagine that, before long, the entire financial world would collapse in tatters. My goodness, and where would we all be then, eh?”