World Struggling To Remember When It Last Revered British Model Of Policing

Mind how you go now, sir

A bemused world is currently wondering whether it is the one referred to by Sir Hugh Orde, president of the Association of Chief Police Officers, when he warned the government that its proposed changes could “threaten the impartial model of policing [which is] revered across the world.”

“Sorry, which bits are you most proud of again?” asked the world. “Gunning down an unarmed electrician with impunity, beating an innocent bystander to death, dragging aparaplegics out of his wheelchair or kettling harmless crowds for hours before laying into them with baton charges?”

After some deliberation, the world decided that Sir Hugh probably had Mars in mind.

“We could be wrong, though,” it added. “If he means this world, then the last time we had any warm, fluffy thoughts about your police was probably 1950, when ‘The Blue Lamp’ introduced us to the charming, dedicated but entirely fictitious PC Dixon of Dock Green.”