Tuesday, 19 April 2011

Ethical Consumers’ Travel Plans Now Totally Screwed

With the RAF taking delivery of its first Airbus A330 Voyager tanker and troop transport, ethical purchasers are now totally fucked as far as their holidays are concerned.

Yeah, dream on, flyboy - it's just a big tube with wings
“OMG there must be an airliner somewhere that isn’t made by an arms manufacturer,” sighed an aghast Starchild Moonflower - whose real name is Sue - to her Facebook commune. “Airbus, Boeing, British Aerospace, Bombardier – well, that goes without saying – fuck it, even the bloody Brazilian one’s part and parcel of the murdering military-industrial complex!”

“What about Aeroflot? Tupolev… Antonov… I might have known,” she continued. “Sorry, kids, looks like it’s a sodding Margate caravan park for the rest of your childhood.”

Meanwhile, aviation experts are placing bets on what the RAF will call the long-delayed A400M troop transport, if Airbus can ever get the damned thing to work. The bookies’ choice is currently ‘Tardis’ at 3-2, with ‘Millennium Falcon’ the second favourite at 3-1, ‘Eagle Transporter’ at 6-1 and ‘Noddy Car’ a long shot at 33-1.

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