Unemployment, which was reported on Saturday to be growing fast in rural Britain, is now rising rapidly in urban areas, according to a report from the Work Foundation.
"What might be happening here is that unemployment may have gone for a short weekend break in the country, possibly on a non-working farm holiday in Cornwall," said puzzled senior researcher Naomi Clayton. "However, Easter is now over, and today we are seeing a huge rise in unemployment in Britain's major cities."
"Apart from in London, that is, which happens to be the home of the Work Foundation, the Commission for Rural Communities and hundreds of similar organisations which work round-the-clock churning out weighty reports full of meaningless statistics to prove whatever we're asked to," she added. "Happy days."