As the Bank of England cut interest rates to an unprecedented 1.5%, the Chancellor of the Exchequer, Alistair Darling, poured cold water on newspaper claims that he was preparing to print more money - but has not ruled out other, unspecified forms of 'quantitative easing'.
"We are looking at a range of measures to support the economy, to support business and to help people," he claimed, "But nobody is talking about printing money. Let's face it, by the time we got it printed and distributed it would probably be worth less than the paper it's printed on."
"We are considering issuing everyone with a special rubber stamp, however," he went on, as he emerged from B&Q with a shiny new wheelbarrow. "Then people could simply add another zero to the banknotes in their wallets every morning."
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