Tuesday, 7 October 2008

BBC Guilty of ‘Fawning’ on Paxman, Claim Royals

The royal family have courted media controversy by saying that the BBC fawns on Newsnight presenter Jeremy Paxman, claiming that the corporation is unsure whether to ‘celebrate’ or report big Paxo events.

“While the BBC does report Paxman’s outbursts pretty straightforwardly, as it should, there is still a fawning taste, a fawning sense to the tone of voice it adopts when dealing with the heir to Robin Day and his opinionated rants,” said Prince Charles.

The Queen suggested that the BBC had not known how to handle the presenter’s comments on the death of comfortable underpants in January.

“It was unclear whether the BBC was announcing this as a piece of news, or in its capacity as fawner-in-chief, really,” she said, “And it really got its knickers in a twist.”

“Ho ho ho,” she added, “That’s rather good, isn‘t it?”

“Look at what he said about a women’s mafia running the BBC,” said Prince Philip. “If I said that, I’d have been held up to public ridicule on the BBC Breakfast. But no, Paxman got off with barely a voice raised in protest, apart from that fit young Frostrup filly - crikey, I wouldn‘t say no to some of that, would you? And can you imagine the furore if I‘d dared to say I thought that that old Burns cove’s maudlin old couplets were ‘sentimental doggerel‘? I’d have been strung up by the goolies by rabid howling jocks, Duke of Edinburgh or not.”

“If one had called the licence fee an outdated tax on owning a television, like Paxman did last year at the Edinburgh Festival, one can bet one’s arse one wouldn’t see any more of one’s crappy documentaries about one’s relatives on the box,” pointed out Prince Edward. “But Paxman can bite the hand that feeds him whenever he feels like it and he’s still there on Newsnight, asking the same bloody question fifty times or whatever it was. It‘s a bit pathetic, really.”

“Surely it must be time for Britain to have a national debate on the relevence of Jeremy Paxman in the 21st century, yah?” said Prince Andrew, before jetting off on another skiing holiday.

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