Millions of Dr Who fans with nothing better to do will be descending on Stratford-upon-Avon for the next few weeks to drool over David Tennent reciting his lines on stage in an Royal Shakespeare Company production of Love’s Labour’s Lost, a flimsy attempt at romantic comedy by the world’s most overrated playwright.
The show - which is about three lords struggling to keep a three-year vow of celibacy, but might as well be about the inside of a ping-pong ball for all the uncritical anorak brigade know or care - is a complete sell-out. And the tickets have all been bought, too.
“I’m hoping the Cybermen get at least a walk-on part,” said one fan. “We know they acquired time-travel technology back in the Colin Baker era, so it’s distinctly possible you know.”
Other rubber monsters tipped to create renaissance-themed mayhem for the scruffy Time Lord include Sontarans, Ice Warriors, Sea Devils, a giant Krynoid plant, the Meddling Monk, a mutant pantomime horse and of course the ever-present bloody Daleks, who seem to follow Tennant around like puppies.
“Next year, we hope to bring the bard’s work to an even wider audience by presenting a run of classic plays showcasing the unbounded dramatic talents of the Chuckle Brothers,” announced an RSC spokesman.