‘Overpriced Shit’ Business Model Not Quite Working Out For Sony

Baffled Sony executives are today struggling to understand how they could possibly lose money by slapping a shiny casing with their name on it around an LCD made by Samsung, telling their customers the resulting TV is Like. No. Other and charging 25% more than the equivalent Samsung model.

“In just 15 years, Apple soar from wiping shameful parts with shares to most valuable company on planet by shamelessly helping selves to wallets of technology junkies with more money than sense,” wept chief executive Hirai Kirai, as he solemnly reported a record $6.4bn loss. “But Sony fashionable innovator too!”

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“$2000 Aibo make digital water on inexpensive Roboraptor! Millions marvel at Rolly on YouTube when manic MP3 player on wheels fall off desk! How you forget life-changing MiniDisc?” he screamed. “Apple magic formula not work to Sony's advantage. Why? Why?”

The contrite Mr Hirai then attempted to slice himself open with a stylish but eye-wateringly priced Sony sword. Unfortunately, it was far too needlessly complicated for him to figure out how to access its ‘ritual suicide’ function.