Saturday, 28 May 2011

Winehouse Relaunches Career With Priory Appearance

And she'd scrubbed up so well
Critics were united today in their fulsome praise of the long-awaited relaunch of Amy Winehouse’s drinking career, as she stormed back into the Priory addiction clinic after a three-year absence.

In a recent interview with Where Are They Now? magazine, a disturbingly lucid Winehouse admitted the alcohol and drug hits had dried out in recent years. However, her diligent preparation for a forthcoming tour of Europe’s bars has ultimately paid off, with her father successfully booking her a residency at the ultra-hip Priory.

“Amy is busy networking again with all the beautiful people at the Priory,” said her doctor. “And as soon as she’s got all the booze out of her system, she’ll be fit and ready to put it all back in again, wowing crowds from Serbia to Romania by staggering through them in a pair of pissy Y-fronts.”

Asked whether the troubled star would be singing too, her father castigated reporters for highlighting her musical difficulties when they should be celebrating the return to form of the greatest piss-artiste of the 21st century.

No comments: