|Fancy a ruck in a sterile environment?|
In Plymouth’s Derriford Hospital, where the experiment is to be trialled, shops are to be cleared out of Floor 6 and replaced by themed bar areas, with a main dance floor in the foyer and a Costcutter off-licence full of cheap no-brand vodka replacing the restaurant.
“We’re all for it,” said a spokesman for Devon & Cornwall Police, who already have a police station in the hospital grounds. “If all the piss-artists come here every night, the Barbican can revert to its former status as a haven for arts and crafts, while Union Street will become an oasis of peace and tranquillity where sex shoppers can stroll about peacefully in the evening, taking the air and a quick blow-job round the back of an industrial unit without having to drop their trousers into a pool of vomit.”
Plans for the revolutionary Derriford Pissatorium include a chill-out room, a pass-out room, a tits-out room and a fully-equipped fight club.