Sunday, 26 December 2010

Widely-Predicted Retail Bankruptcies Somehow Fail To Materialise

Despite all their gloomy predictions in the run-up to Christmas, in which the nation’s pessimistic retailers warned that the recession and harsh weather were combining to force them out of business, supermarket chain Waitrose today announced with a flourish that it had somehow enjoyed its most profitable Christmas ever.

“Whoever would have thought that reducing the profit margin slightly on outsize tellies and quietly whacking up all the food prices would rake in the cash?” beamed delighted managing director Mark Upp, as he thumbed eagerly through a Bugatti brochure.

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