Clegg Destroys Credibility Of Last Remaining Trustworthy LibDem MP

Mr Hughes will soon get used to his new self-igniting trousers

Simon Hughes, the sole remaining member of the Liberal Democrats with an ounce of public support, was fatally compromised today by his appointment by deputy PM Nick Clegg to sell to a sceptical public the hated tuition fees increase which he alone had the integrity to denounce.

Mr Hughes has already appeared in several interviews looking shifty and untrustworthy, and will soon be doing the same in schools up and down the country – thus ensuring that an entire generation of future voters will never vote Liberal Democrat for as long as they live.

“This is a master stroke by my very good friend Nick,” commented prime minister David Cameron. “Now that twerp Hughes looks even more two-faced than his party colleagues in the Cabinet. At least their craven behaviour is a product of simple human greed, which everyone can understand - but as he won’t get paid a penny extra for casting aside his precious principles, the only possible explanation is that he is gutless to the core.”

“The only way that any LibDem politicians can now hope to ever get themselves elected again,” he giggled, “Is to formally merge their party with ours, and stand as Conservatives. Something for LibDem councillors to think about between now and May, perhaps?”