Former PM Tony Blair will begin his attempt to smash the world record for bullshitting on January 29th, said a spokesman for the Chilcot Inquiry into events leading up to the 2003 invasion of Iraq.
Mr Blair already holds the record for Longest Sustained Bullshitting after 10 years and 57 days in office. However, he is hoping that, at some point during the 2-4 weeks he is expected to spend before the committee, he will also be able to snatch the crown for sheer quantity of bullshit delivered in one 24-hour period.
"Our test-run questioning of Alastair Campbell last week revealed defects in our bullshit-removal apparatus, after the wheelbarrow collapsed under the sheer weight of crap pouring out of Mr Blair's top advisor," said Mr Chilcot. "So we are installing a conveyor belt to deliver Mr Blair's crap straight into a fleet of waiting skips, which will deliver his reeking ordure straight to the front page of your daily paper every morning."
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