US President Barack Obama has ordered an urgent review of airline security after a wealthy Nigerian deliberately set fire to his underpants on a transatlantic flight, subjecting fellow-passengers to the harrowing smell of singed pubes.
23-year-old Umar Farouk Abdulmutallab was carried off the plane on a stretcher, screaming and clutching his smouldering knackers, after the bomb he had sewn into his trolleys failed to explode to his satisfaction. Embarrassed US homeland security officials must now explain why they allowed the former engineering student to obtain a visa after his father, a rich Nigerian banker, had warned them that his son was a dangerous fundamentalist loony.
"We're currently sifting through the contents of our spam folders, which might take a while," said White House spokesman Robert Gibbs. "At this stage of the investigation, we're focused on the possibility that the words 'wealthy', 'Nigerian' and 'banker' were identified by spam filters as just another invitation to divulge our bank account details to fraudsters."
If the US government turns its spam filter off, say IT experts, tens of thousands of extra staff will have to be employed to read all incoming emails - possibly creating a backlog that will cripple entire departments.
Meanwhile, long-suffering passengers at major airports all over the world face the additional inconvenience of having their underwear forcibly removed and shot by trained security staff.
1 comment:
This isn't really very fictional, is it?
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