Speaking from the top of his shiny head, Lord Adonis today announced an exciting futuristic vision in which everybody was whizzing round Britain at 3,000mph on special anti-gravity trains.
"In the future - either next week on in the year one billion - all trains will be ten miles long, carry a million passengers and draw their power from a star in a carbon-neutral pocket universe," declared the transport secretary brightly. "Here, hand me my crayons and I'll draw it for you."
As he scrawled, the visionary minister went on to explain that the rail network of the future could easily be financed by minting really big coins worth a hundred million thousand pounds each.
"As people travel longer and longer distances to work, they will think nothing of a daily commute from the Outer Hebrides," he gushed excitedly. "Because they will only just have settled into their hover-chair and downloaded the Daily Telepath directly into their second brains, and they'll be at the City of London Spaceport - where a teleport taxi will instantaneously whisk their molecules directly to their desk-podules."
"It's completely brilliant," he added. "Aren't I a clever boy? I need to go to the bathroom."
The Association of Train Operating Companies are said to be carefully studying Lord Adonis' mainly-orange plans on the walls of his play area, but have already issued a press statement declaring that they welcome any improvements to the infrastructure of the rail network, as long as they don't have to pay a penny towards them.
1 comment:
Thought you may like this from my latest post, re Adult Autism Strategy:
it's likely to whole programme of support and social care for Autistics will be handed over the the Employment Service and the planned network of social groups for Autistic Adults will actually just be re-branded Job Search visits to the Employment Office.
It's also very likely to be true.
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